We Are Family ...

Towards the end of the summer our youngest daughter asked why she had "blonde" hair when all of her sisters, and both her parents, had dark brown hair.  She wanted to know where her light eyes came from, when her sisters had deep brown eyes.  And lastly she wanted to know why on earth she had such fair skin, and why we were constantly dousing her with sunscreen.  My husband lovingly explained that she was the lucky recipient of all of the recessive genes in her gene pool.  She inherited the light hair and eyes from the McMahon/Dunn side of the family.   More specifically that she looked just like her Great Grandma McMahon (Dunn).  Settled with the response from her Father, our strawberry blonde beauty bounced off to play lego star wars versus lala loopsy with her brother.

Later that week our son was comparing his beautifully caramel skin, that had been darkened by the summer sun, with the lighter version of his sisters skin, pink from the warm heat.  He said, "I hate my brown skin, it's so ugly".  Immediately all three of his sisters said, "I wish I had your brown skin.  It is so nice and tan, not pale and blah".  T wasn't the least bit consoled and again verbalized his wish to be "really related" to his sisters so he too could have light skin, instead of brown.  It was in this instance that I realized a bigger conversation needed to be had about how we are all made in God's image and that no one person, or skin color, or any other characteristic is better than any other, but rather that we are simply different, unique.

At dinner that night we talked more about genetics, about how there is a limit to the physical characteristics a person can have and that those characteristics are determined by the ones your parents bring with them.  If both of your parents are caucasian, there is little to no chance that if you are their genetic off-spring that you will be born with the physical characteristics of the Chinese.   The kids laughed and started to give us the examples showing their level of understanding.  I have eyes like Dad.  I have hair like Mom.  I will be taller than you Mommaca because Mom and Dad are (thanks, sigh).  Then our youngest daughter said something that truly amazed me.  She said, "Just because we don't share our genetics we are still family, right?".

And that is when we determined that there are physical genetics and environmental genetics.  Environmental genetics are not about eye color or nose shape but rather the chromosomes of your life that are carefully constructed from thanksgiving dinners, christmas cookie bake-offs, tears cried, hugs given, bandaids used, swimming lesson successes, basketball games with your parents embarrassing you with their cheers of joy, birthday cakes, crazy smiles, good smiles, fart smiles (if you have boys), happy smiles, school plays, questions of the past, questions about the future, bedtime stories, golf cart rides with Grandpa, playing home videos made by kids for Grandma, cuddling, family movie nights, time at the lake, hugs, and love.

My parents have always said, "Family is not determined by genetics (thank goodness since I am adopted) but rather, the contributions people make to who you will become, who you are, and how you live your life".  Once again, I am forced to admit they are right, they are smart, they are wise, and I am becoming more like them every day.  THANK GOD!