Between the age of 15 to about 24 I was truly someone only my mother could love. I was moody. Mean. Difficult. Selfish. I was young and completely focused on my belly button - meaning only looking at myself. No amount of catechism classes, girl scout meetings, music lessons, or summer camps could balance out the rage that was building up inside me. It wasn't until I became a mom that I truly understood just how selfish and unkind I had been.
I am now on the opposite side of the equation. My oldest daughter is 13. She is beautiful by every definition of the word. She is smart and loving, but she is still a teenager. She is learning to cope with the new surge of hormones that seem to invade her body at the oddest times. She is learning how to navigate adult concepts and emotions. She is trying to figure out who she is and who she wants to become. She is testing boundaries and limits to see how far they go. As with any teenage girl it can be difficult to stand on the outside looking in and understand what is happening. Often times you are left wondering who turned on the "crazy" switch? And where is the "OFF" button. It is in those moments that I channel my Mother's good nature and kindness. It is in those moments I stretch to look outside of myself and try to see where my daughter is coming from. It is those moments I seek to extend my arms for a hug rather than raise my voice to scold.
Two weeks ago we went to our cabin to visit my parents and to spend some time away from all of the hustle and bustle. Normally, when we visit my folks I wake up early and spend the first few hours of the morning talking to my Father. Just Dad and I taking on the world over a cup of coffee. This time my eldest daughter joined us each morning. She would get up about a half hour after I did. She would sit next to her Grandpa and he would tease her about her favorite stuffed animal "Duckles". She would talk to us about "stuff" - movies, music, food, school, hopes, dreams - anything you can think of. It is in these morning conversations that I can really see who my daughter is becoming.
They say what goes around comes around, but don't we all just go around once? We have this one life, this one chance to be happy, to live, to be the only person we were meant to be - ourselves. Our children may not be who we wish them to be. Who we envisioned they would be. They will be who they are supposed to be and as parents we hope our children will become better people than we are. It is truly a gift to watch my daughter come into her own. She is all the best parts of me, of her Father, of her Mother, and of her Grandparents. She is all of the good in each of us wrapped up in one person. I am constantly amazed and delighted by who she is becoming and in this way I know I am becoming more like my parents each day.
I am now on the opposite side of the equation. My oldest daughter is 13. She is beautiful by every definition of the word. She is smart and loving, but she is still a teenager. She is learning to cope with the new surge of hormones that seem to invade her body at the oddest times. She is learning how to navigate adult concepts and emotions. She is trying to figure out who she is and who she wants to become. She is testing boundaries and limits to see how far they go. As with any teenage girl it can be difficult to stand on the outside looking in and understand what is happening. Often times you are left wondering who turned on the "crazy" switch? And where is the "OFF" button. It is in those moments that I channel my Mother's good nature and kindness. It is in those moments I stretch to look outside of myself and try to see where my daughter is coming from. It is those moments I seek to extend my arms for a hug rather than raise my voice to scold.
Two weeks ago we went to our cabin to visit my parents and to spend some time away from all of the hustle and bustle. Normally, when we visit my folks I wake up early and spend the first few hours of the morning talking to my Father. Just Dad and I taking on the world over a cup of coffee. This time my eldest daughter joined us each morning. She would get up about a half hour after I did. She would sit next to her Grandpa and he would tease her about her favorite stuffed animal "Duckles". She would talk to us about "stuff" - movies, music, food, school, hopes, dreams - anything you can think of. It is in these morning conversations that I can really see who my daughter is becoming.
They say what goes around comes around, but don't we all just go around once? We have this one life, this one chance to be happy, to live, to be the only person we were meant to be - ourselves. Our children may not be who we wish them to be. Who we envisioned they would be. They will be who they are supposed to be and as parents we hope our children will become better people than we are. It is truly a gift to watch my daughter come into her own. She is all the best parts of me, of her Father, of her Mother, and of her Grandparents. She is all of the good in each of us wrapped up in one person. I am constantly amazed and delighted by who she is becoming and in this way I know I am becoming more like my parents each day.
