We teach our children that "honesty is the best policy", that the truth will set them free. Yet do our actions support those teachings? If our children muster up the courage to tell us something, something they feel or experience that we may not want to hear, or are angered to know, are we open to hearing what they have to say?
As a child I remember telling my parents many things I'm sure they did not want to hear. I remember telling my Mom I thought she loved my sister more because she spent more time with her. I remember telling her I hated that she was sick when I was growing up (like, she chose to be sick???). I also remember her listening to me, validating my feelings, and then talking through them with me. It takes great courage for a child to tell the truth. It takes even greater courage for a parent to accept that truth and not dismiss the feelings of their child, especially if those truths are aimed to hurt you.
If we cannot appreciate and place value on what our children tell us then is honesty truly the best policy? Does the truth set them free or does it just add another shackle to the chains that keep them tied to the fear of telling us the truth?
If your child is brave enough to tell you something, listen. Don't respond, just listen. Evaluate and think about what they are saying. Then if it warrants it talk about it with your child. It takes an enormous amount of courage to tell the truth. As the parent, the adult, you have the option to let the truth set your child free or make them fearful of the truth for the rest of their life.
As a child I remember telling my parents many things I'm sure they did not want to hear. I remember telling my Mom I thought she loved my sister more because she spent more time with her. I remember telling her I hated that she was sick when I was growing up (like, she chose to be sick???). I also remember her listening to me, validating my feelings, and then talking through them with me. It takes great courage for a child to tell the truth. It takes even greater courage for a parent to accept that truth and not dismiss the feelings of their child, especially if those truths are aimed to hurt you.
If we cannot appreciate and place value on what our children tell us then is honesty truly the best policy? Does the truth set them free or does it just add another shackle to the chains that keep them tied to the fear of telling us the truth?
If your child is brave enough to tell you something, listen. Don't respond, just listen. Evaluate and think about what they are saying. Then if it warrants it talk about it with your child. It takes an enormous amount of courage to tell the truth. As the parent, the adult, you have the option to let the truth set your child free or make them fearful of the truth for the rest of their life.
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